Caught On Tape
by Tsuki the Wolf
Summary: Watch from Japan's camera as America hosts a party. Naturally, because this is a party, there will be drinks. And England. Oh my. Slight yaoi warning. Mostly rated for language. Purely humour one-shot


**A/N: Plot bunnies, my dearies! They are quite wonderful, are they not? I came up with this idea randomly and felt the need to draw a doujinshi about it! Unfortunately I'm not that good, so how about a fanfiction instead? **

**This is written from the camera's point of view, so try to picture it that way! (Sorry for any language mistakes!) It's not going to be too long of a one-shot but I hope you're entertained nonetheless!**

**There will be only slight pairings in here. And there will be drunkenness. Specifically of the English kind. BEWARE!**

**Read on and review!**

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><p>"Is it on?"<p>

"I cannot see anything."

"Well why not? It's brand new!"

"Oh, I see. The lens cap is still on." The black screen suddenly became bright with lights and was filled with blurred colors. After a moment the screen was focused and a face came into view. America blinked blue eyes at the camera curiously and he moved closer to fill the whole screen. Only a blue ocean with a black island could be seen.

"Can you see?" He asked.

"I can, but you are far too close, America-san." His companion said.

America laughed and stepped back so that the camera could film the full man and the room could be seen. He was dressed in a classic Santa outfit minus the hat and beard. The wall behind him had a tacky daisy flower pattern with a pale blue background. The end of a dresser could be seen. There was a door behind America. "Is this far enough, Japan?"

"_Hai._" A small bright red light lit up on the camera. "It is recording now."

"Okay! This is America and welcome to my kickass Christmas party!" He spread his arms wide as he introduced himself. "Well, actually the party isn't in _here_ but this is part of it! We –my buddy Japan who's filming and I- are in Japan's hotel room because I decided that we should film the event!"

"That is because it always turns into an…exciting event." Japan murmured just loud enough for the camera to catch.

"So I rented out this awesome hotel and we have a whole bunch of countries here with us partying!" America continued on and the camera moved to follow his movement as he walked towards the bed. He pulled on a Santa hat and messed with a furry mass before he placed that on his face to reveal a Santa beard. He turned back to the camera and grinned before he picked up a sack that appeared to be full of presents. "Now that I'm all set, let's go down to the party!" He grinned and walked towards the door. The camera followed behind him. After a few moments America glanced back and blinked. "Hey, aren't you going to turn that off, dude? We still have to take an elevator to get to the party. You should save your film."

"Do not worry. I am merely testing out my new camera. It has a long battery life and it automatically records the video to my computer so I do not have to worry about film." Japan was recorded saying.

"Oh really, dude? That's totally badass! You should sell me some!" America pressed the button on the elevator and the doors opened quickly enough. They stepped inside and America pressed the floor button.

"We will negotiate later-Gates."

"Here, let me see that!" America reached forward and the camera screen was quickly spun around to view Japan. "Say 'Merry Christmas'!"

Japan smiled softly. "_Merīkurisumasu_." The camera moved around to view the whole elevator (it was filled with mirrors and reflected America and Japan with America holding the camera to his face to film. The elevator 'dinged' and the doors slid open. The camera was shoved into Japan's hands and after a moment of scrambling the screen focused on America. The nation hurried down the hallway with the camera following after and soon he shoved open two doors. Noise erupted from the opening and the camera registered music blaring and a buzz of many, many voices mixing together. It was bright and well-lit with a large Christmas tree in every corner of the room and presents under all of them. The camera panned around the room to show concession tables with various foods of all origin and drinks mostly ranging in the alcoholic area. However there were plenty of sodas and juices for the kiddies and the nations who didn't want to drink that night. Classic Christmas decorations including snowflakes, presents, reindeer and such were either strung, taped, or singing around the room. It was grand in its own childish way. Truly an American Christmas. The place was stuffed with people to the point that one could hardly see in front of them. Due to Japan's short stature, the camera could not see over many people.

Japan followed America to where the man dumped the bag of presents in front of one of the trees that had less people around it. America then turned to address the camera when he was suddenly jumped from behind. "Santa~!" It was a young man who didn't appear much older than America.

"Hey, Italy!" America laughed and wiggled the Italian off of him. Germany came up near him with a sigh and a roll of his eyes, frustrated with having to keep up with Italy's endless energy. However, he appeared to be having a generally good time.

"Oh, so it's you, America!" Italy said while grinning. He turned to the camera. "And Japan! Hi!" The man jumped quickly at the camera and static could be heard as cloth brushed against the microphone and the screen turned a dark green with the green shirt Italy was wearing. There was a muffled,

"My camera…" The screen cleared with an apology. "Hello Italy, Germany-san." Japan said and turned the camera to look at Germany. "How are you?"

"I'm having so much fun! Thank you for inviting us, America!" Italy thanked the host. Japan turned the camera back to America as he accepted another hug from the hyper Italian.

"No problem! My parties are so great that I have to share them, after all!" He said.

"Indeed." Germany didn't sound as impressed. "Thank you for inviting us." He turned to the camera as it was turned back to him. "What are you filming, Japan?"

There was an intake of breath as Japan was about to respond but America cut him off and jumped into the picture. "Japan thought it would be cool to try out his camera and so we're filming the party so that I can make it even more awesome next year!"

Italy joined the picture and Japan zoomed out to capture all three of them in it. "I want to see it when it's done!"

"Sure! Oh!" America walked to the other side of the camera so that he was out of the shot and his finger appeared to point at the two. "Say 'Merry Christmas', guys! And smile!"

"_Buon Natale_!" Italy said cheerfully.

Germany smiled ever so slightly. "_Frohe Weihnachten."_

"Great! See y'all later! Merry Christmas!" The screen shifted jerkily as Japan was moved through the crowd some and then America took over the lead. They stopped quite a number of nations along the way and chatted with them as well before asking them to say Merry Christmas. This went on for a while before America led Japan over to one of the drink tables.

"America-san, can you please hold this while I pour a drink?" He asked as America popped open a beer.

"Hm? Sure!" The camera's view changed and focused on Japan as the man reached for some juice and a cup. "Are you having fun?"

"I am. Thank you for inviting me. It has been quite a bit…calmer than the previous years." Japan stated as he poured his drink.

"Oh yeah, with all the weird shit that always happens. It's really weird having a normal Christmas!" There was loud laughter from off-screen as America laughed. In the top left corner of the screen the battery's life was still full. Japan finished pouring his drink and turned to the camera. "By the way, have you seen England at all?"

Japan appeared surprised. "I had thought he was not coming?"

"No, he said that he would since his plans were cancelled and he wasn't working."

"Then I do not know." The camera spun around the room to take in everything before turning back to Japan. "It appears as if the party is being moved."

"Yup! The whole hotel's been rented, after all! We can't all stay in this tiny room!" America confirmed. Suddenly the camera pitched forward and the ground rapidly approached before it was caught by swift hands and straightened to face America, who had been jumped upon again only this time by an albino.

"Yo, America! Where's your brother at?" Prussia demanded. He waved once at the camera. His face was a little red and a beer was held in his hands.

America shoved him off. "Um…" His face went blank and then he grinned in confusion. "Who?"

Prussia grew a little frustrated. "Canada, _archsloch!_ Your brother!"

"Oh, right! I have no idea. I think he might be out back in the courtyard."

"Thanks!" Prussia ran off-screen and America called,

"Wait! You'd better not do anything bad to him!" The camera turned to Prussia and zoomed in on his face. A devious grin appeared there.

"Don't worry! I won't do anything he won't like!" He winked at the camera and ran off into the crowd. The camera zoomed back out to turn to America. The nation had a disgruntled and slightly disgusted look on his face.

"…I had forgotten you had a brother…" Japan said carefully.

"Yeah, he's easy to forget." America brushed it off.

"_Bonjour_!" A voice called and the camera spun to just behind the table where France stood completely naked minus the cat ears, tail, and a large rose that bloomed over his vital regions. "Hello America! Japan!"

"Hey, France! Running around like that again?" America asked as the camera zoomed fully out to capture both of them in the shot.

"Yes, I am! They grow whenever it is Christmas time!"

"I…see…" Japan murmured. From the sound of his voice, he disapproved but he didn't say so. America looked at the camera and rolled his eyes comically.

"Having fun?" He asked, turning back to his guest.

"I am! But I'm searching for our dear England!" France picked up a stray alcoholic drink and took the shot quickly.

America frowned. "How come?"

France developed a devious look in his eyes as he leaned on the table and brought out a small bottle no bigger than his hand. It had a label on it that could be seen as German. "I happened to discover from a certain Prussian that this drink is so potent that it makes one instantly intoxicated!" America and Japan froze.

"Y…you're going to give that to England-san?" Japan asked softly.

"_Oui!_" France grinned.

"Are you _insane!"_ America shouted, horrified. "Why would you actually _want _England to get drunk? Are you trying to kill us all?"

"No, but England has always been better sport when drunk." He shrugged.

"I can't let you!" America lunged but France easily danced out of the way. "Come back here!" France stuck his tongue out and waved as he ran away. America turned to Japan. "Come on! We have to follow him!"

"Right!" The two took off after him. America was able to get most of the people out of the way. He shouted things like, "Emergency!" and "Catch that French dude!" Only through the use of Japan's honed camera skills could the camera be held correctly even while running in this crowd. After a while, America disappeared into the crowd. The camera turned this way and that and finally after some maneuvering (it helped that Japan had Anime Convention experience), he entered the hallway. Huffing could be heard from behind the camera as Japan caught his breath and turned it in different directions as he looked around him. Christmas music continued to play in the background.

"Japan!" The camera turned to America as the man ran up to him gasping for breath. He had sweat on his face and he had lost his beard at some point in time. "I lost him." He stated.

"I as well. We must find England-san and warn him before France-san finds him."

"Yeah! But I haven't seen England all night!" He looked around. "What time is it?" In the top right corner of the screen it read 22:28. Japan informed him of the time. "Great. Where could that old man be?"

"Do you have a cell phone?" Japan questioned.

"No, I left it in my room and that's on the top floor."

"Why would you leave it there if you are not spending the night?"

"Because it's safe there."

"We're wasting time. We must find England-san."

"Yeah, okay! Let's split up. I'll go back into the crowd and you go check his room, alright? We'll meet up in the courtyard because England likes gardens and shit like that."

"I understand. If either of us finds him then shall we take him to the courtyard also?"

"No, take him to your room. France can't get in there."

"_Hai._" America ran off through the doors and into the party. Japan lowered the camera so that it was only filming the floor and the floor rushed past as he ran. After a minute the camera was lifted to point at the doors to the elevator. The silver metal barely reflected anything but the florescent lights above. Japan waited silently until the doors dinged open and he entered. Inside he was surprised as a figure flew at him.

"Japan!" The person said and the camera swiveled around to show the reflective wall despite the camera wiggling rapidly. A boy taller than Japan was groping the man's chest as he yelled, "Korea claims your breasts!"

Japan managed to wiggle out of the boy's hold and all that could be seen was a pair of feet running out of the elevator as Japan said, "I do not have breasts!" The elevator doors shut and Japan pointed the camera at the walls of the elevator as he spoke, "I have a bad feeling about tonight. A normal Christmas is too easy." There was a worried frown on his face. The door dinged open again and he exited off. He walked down the hallway with a red, blue, yellow, and green design on it that appeared to be swirls and the hallway was a plain white color with a few hanging picture frames. The camera turned towards a door labeled '402' and knocked. "England-san, are you in there?" Japan asked.

The door unlocked and it opened. The camera aimed lower and saw a boy who appeared similar to England, but he wore a light blue hat with matching eyes and a sailor outfit. "The jerk isn't here." Sealand pouted.

"Ah, do you know where he is?"

"I don't know and don't care. I'm going down to the party." Japan backed up as Sealand exited and closed the door behind him. The camera filmed him as he ran down the hallway with his arms flying behind him like a ninja.

"Sealand-kun appears to be a fan of _Naruto_." Japan said to himself. The camera moved to look around the hallway before walking towards the elevators. "I suppose I'll go to meet America-san now." He narrated. He took the elevator down to the first floor and he walked past the loud doors where the party was. Off to the right the camera picked up some figures and Japan turned the camera towards them. It was Germany and Italy intimately pressed against each other and kissing heavily. The camera pointed down for just a moment before it jumped back up to film the two. After a minute they noticed.

Germany stuck his hand out so that it blocked most of the screen. "What are you filming?" He demanded. He had slightly red cheeks and it was suspected that he was drunk. Italy appeared quite happy.

"Ah, sorry. My instincts…I'll leave now." The screen moved around the hand and started down the hallway. It was then turned to film Italy and Germany going back to kissing as Japan moved away. After he turned the corner the camera jumped forward and went through a glass door into the outside. America was waiting there, holding himself and shivering in his Santa outfit. He looked up upon seeing Japan.

"Did you find anything?" He asked. "Were you filming the whole time?"

"I was and no, I did not find England-san. I only found Sealand-kun. And you?"

America growled softly under his breath. "Nothing. I spotted France for a moment but I lost him. Dammit, I don't want him to ruin my party!"

"England-san or France-san?" Japan asked softly, but America didn't hear him. "Wait, what was that?" The camera turned quickly and zoomed in on a mass of blonde hair.

"What?"

"England-san!" Japan said and zoomed out. England was standing near some foliage, staring at the lights decorating the trees. Japan and America rushed forward.

"England!" America shouted. England turned towards them. There was a low metal decorative fence separating the camera and England who stood a few yards away still. "England, come over here, quick!"

"What do you want, America?" England asked, confused. He started to walk forward. America and Japan waved for him to come faster, but a figure appeared behind England. The figure swooped forward and wrapped an arm around England's waist. "Wha-!"

"England(-san)!" America and Japan screamed.

"Oh hon hon hon!"

"Frog!" England shouted furious and was yanked into the bushes. America jumped the fence and Japan followed after him as they rushed over to the bushes. When they had reached it, the camera recorded a thoroughly knocked out France, an empty bottle, and a seething England. England hiccupped and turned on his heel to face them. His eyelids drooped and he wobbled on his feet with a deep red flush to his face.

"E-England-san?" Japan asked.

"Damn frog…" England muttered. The camera jumped to America.

America looked at the camera. "I think he's normal…" They turned back to England to reveal that his clothes had completely changed. Now he wobbled with only cufflinks, a collar with a black bowtie and a black waist-apron that had no back and showed England's ass. "Holy shit, when did you change your clothes!" America asked, shocked.

England blinked slowly and then looked directly at America. A grin spread across his face. "Oh, are you jealous of my outfit, love?" He held up a second apron. "Don't worry; I have one for you too!" America and Japan backed up.

"I'm not jealous of your weird outfit!" America shouted from off camera. Japan kept England firmly in its sights. The drunken man stepped forward and there was a feeling as if the devil was approaching.

"Com'mere *hic* America…" England said.

"Run. Run!" America said to Japan and the two turned and dashed away. The camera shook heavily and showed that America was in front of Japan. They entered the hotel and shoved through the crowd. The nations shouted at them. "GET OUT OF THE WAY! ENGLAND'S DRUNK!" America yelled. There were a few screams and some of the other nations made a break for it as well. The screen went black for a moment and then turned back on. It revealed America gasping for breath and Japan's heavy breathing could be heard as well. They were standing in one of the upstairs hallways.

"I'm…far too old…for this…" Japan huffed.

"Did you…turn that off…?" America asked him.

"For a moment." The two started to recover and America looked around. The camera followed him as he peeked around a corner and then moved back to his original spot.

"I think we're safe." He announced in a whisper.

"I lost sight of him."

"Yeah, well, if we can't see him he probably can't see us." America muttered and looked around again. He wiped the sweat off of his brow. "That drink is a hazard."

"We must not legalize it where England-san can get it." Japan agreed.

"Now all we have to do is-" The door behind America suddenly was flung backwards and only a flash of gold was spotted before America was yanked in and the door slammed shut. America's scream could be heard during the process. The camera moved away from the door and back against the opposite wall as America's yells could be heard from the other side.

"America-san!" Japan cried.

"AH! ENGLAND WHAT THE-WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GIVE ME BACK MY PANTS! WAIT THAT'S MY-GAH!" There were loud thumps that accompanied these screams. The door shook some and for a moment it opened and America tried to run out with only a shirt on. Unfortunately England was hot on his tail and tackled his legs, bringing the superpower to the ground. He began dragging the man back into the room. "Japan!" He cried and reached a hand out and the camera was placed on a table in the hallway as the Japanese man ran forward to help him. But the door was slammed shut again before Japan could reach him and the yells ensued. Japan stood there silently before he walked back to the camera and picked it up.

"He's in God's hands now." Japan said mournfully. Suddenly the noise ceased. There was a tense moment before there was a loud thump and the door was yanked open before America burst through the door and turned to hold the door shut. America was dressed similarly to England now. His ass was completely exposed. Banging ensued on the other side of the door and England could be heard shouting,

"Your bowtie isn't on, America!"

"I don't care!" America shouted back. The banging continued for another two minutes before it calmed down. America didn't lessen up on the door for another minute.

"Do you think he's done?" Japan asked, coming closer and holding the camera to look into America's face. The man's face was red. The camera picked up what may have been a hickey on the man's neck.

"I don't know." America whispered. "Let me see your camera. I'm going to use it so that we can look in."

"I don't want to risk my camera." Japan sounded worried.

"It'll be fine! He's not going to break it. It's just like using a mirror." There was a struggle and the camera's view turned to face Japan. The man was frowning.

"Fine. But you will pay if it breaks."

"Got it." The camera moved towards the door and the door cracked open enough to look in. The room was relatively normal, although America's clothes were scattered on the floor. "My clothes…" America growled softly. The camera turned when hands appeared out of nowhere and grabbed America. America screamed and the vision was jostled violently before it was out and the door slammed shut again. America huffed and the camera was returned to Japan's hands. "Let's get the fuck out of here." America said.

"But what if he comes out?" Japan questioned.

"I locked the door. I think he's too drunk to understand." As if on cue the door shook and a fist pounded on it.

"America~!" England whined. "I need you! Your bowtie~!"

America blushed. The camera zoomed in on his face. America glared. "Let's go." The camera zoomed out again and the two walked down the hallway. "That should hold him off. Hopefully he'll sober up soon." They made it to the end of the hallway before a crash was heard. The two spun around and England stood in the wreckage of the door. "What the fuck!" America shouted. "I have to pay for that!"

"Your turn, Japan." England grinned while holding up a third apron.

"Oh no."

"Run!" America shouted and the two took off once again. The camera was dropped and it rolled to show England with a choke hold on Japan and dragging him away. Japan cried out and America rushed forward to help but poor Japan was dragged into another room. America pounded on the door. "JAPAN!" He yelled. He was unable to open the door, though. He lowered his head and a shaky sigh escaped his lips before he walked over to the camera. There were tears in his eyes as he cried. "I'm sorry Japan." The screen was lifted up and America began running. "I'll come back for you! I'll find someone who can help us!" The screen turned black for a moment before it turned on again to reveal that America was once again back in the party room.

He zoomed in on Prussia, who was sitting and chatting with Canada in a loveseat. "Prussia!" America yelled and ran forward.

"America!" Canada turned red because of his brother's apparel.

"Whoa, what the hell's up with your outfit?" Prussia laughed hard.

"Why are you-It was England, right?" Canada asked with a weary sigh.

"Yes…" America whimpered. "Look, Prussia, France gave England some German beer that got him instantly drunk and now he has Japan. How can we stop him?"

"Are you kidding me?" Prussia asked, still grinning joyfully. "You're on your own. You have to wait for that crap to wear off."

America made a frustrated growl. "When I see that French bastard when he's sober, I'm going to kick his ass. Make sure you tie him up and throw him into a closet."

"Sure." The camera turned.

"Wait!" The camera turned back to Canada. The man appeared worried. "What are you going to do, America?"

America took a deep breath. "I'm going to go back for Japan to see if he survived and then…I don't know. I guess I'll try to capture England." He sounded extremely reluctant.

Prussia came forward and placed a hand on America's shoulder. "Good luck. If you and England have sex, make sure you film it, okay?"

"Screw you, Prussia!" America hissed and the camera turned off. When it was turned on again, America was back in the hallway where he had left Japan. He moved slowly, moving the camera this way and that. "I'm so fucking scared!" America whispered fearfully. "I don't want to deal with England drunk!" He found the room England had dragged Japan into. He knocked softly. The door cracked open and Japan stuck his head out. He appeared greatly relieved.

"America-san!" He breathed.

"Japan! You're safe! …Is England in there?"

"No, he ran out." He appeared embarrassed and shifted to hide more behind the door.

"He got you?"

"Yes. Can you please find me a change of clothes?"

"I wouldn't change, if I were you. England'll find you and he won't be happy if you changed." America sounded like he knew this from experience. And it wasn't a happy one.

"Then please find me some underwear. England-san took my clothes with him."

"I don't have an extra pair, but you can have mine."

"But what about you?"

"Don't worry; I've dressed like this before. It's not so bad as long as I'm inside."

"…If it is fine with you, then thank you." The door closed and America moved away to the other room where he had been forcibly stripped. He entered cautiously and grabbed his boxers before going back to Japan's room. He handed them to him when Japan opened the door. "_Arigatou._" The door closed and didn't reopen.

"Are you going to come out?" America asked after a minute.

"No. I cannot go out dressed like this."

"Do you want your camera?"

"Please take care of it. I do not want to miss whatever happens."

"Gotcha. I'm off to find England, then." America turned.

The camera picked up a low, "_Ganbatte."_ America searched along the hallway and called out,

"England?" He didn't find anyone. "England!" He called again. There were a few thumps behind one of the doors. America froze before walking over to a table across the hall and placing the camera on the table to make sure it was safe. He kneeled before it. "To whoever finds this, know that I'm a hero. I might die when I go in there, so please make sure to bury my body in a badass way." He took a deep breath and stood before walking over to the door. It was numbered '402'. America knocked. It opened up and instantly America was tackled to the floor with a drunken English man on top of him.

"The. Bowtie." England growled, holding it out to him and appearing furious.

"Alright! I'll put on the damn tie!" America said and took it. He tied the thing on. "Happy?"

A stupid grin developed on England's face and the two stood up. "Much better!" England looked America up and down before he leaned forward on him. "You actually look really sexy right now…" He grabbed a hold of America and threw him into the bedroom before stalking in after him.

"Wait! England, no! Stop! We can't-No-!" The door slammed shut. The camera's battery died long before the door to that room opened again.

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><p><strong>AN: Yup. Just a typical party for America.**

**You should totally review. Like, all of you who read this.**


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